Last updated: 11 April 2026
Irish wakes have a reputation for being loud, crowded, and full of life — and there’s real truth to that, though the deeper story is about community, remembrance, and the Irish way of facing death without fear. If you’re planning a wake and have Irish heritage, or you simply want to understand what makes an Irish wake different, you’re probably wondering how to bring those traditions into a UK setting that honours your loved one’s memory. The good news is that the core of an Irish wake — gathering together, telling stories, sharing food and drink, and celebrating a life well-lived — translates beautifully into the UK, and many families find it brings real warmth to what is otherwise a difficult time.
Key Takeaways
- An Irish wake is a multi-day gathering before the funeral where family and friends share stories, food, drink, and silence together in the presence of the deceased.
- The traditions stem from pre-Christian Irish culture and were shaped by centuries of Catholic practice, creating a unique blend of spirituality and earthiness.
- Core elements include the vigil, the rosary, storytelling, music, food, and drink — all centred on celebrating the person’s life rather than dwelling only on loss.
- You can honour Irish wake customs in the UK by choosing a warm, informal venue like a pub, incorporating traditional foods and toasts, and creating space for family stories.
What Exactly Is an Irish Wake?
An Irish wake is one of the oldest funeral traditions in the Western world, and it looks nothing like a formal funeral service. The most fundamental way to understand an Irish wake is to see it as a multi-day vigil where family and friends gather to stay with the deceased, share stories, eat, drink, and keep the person company through the night before burial or cremation. In Ireland itself, the wake traditionally happens in the family home, with the coffin placed in the front room and neighbours coming and going over two or three days and nights.
What makes a wake distinctly Irish is the spirit of it. Unlike some funeral traditions that emphasise quiet, solemn restraint, an Irish wake is fundamentally about life. Yes, there is grief — deep, genuine grief — but there is also laughter, music, storytelling, and the kind of practical generosity where food and drink flow freely. It’s not disrespectful; it’s the opposite. It’s a way of saying: “This person was real, they were part of our community, and we’re not going to pretend they weren’t important by sitting in silence.”
Many families who have never experienced an Irish wake are surprised by how much comfort there is in the informality. The absence of rigid rules actually gives people permission to grieve in their own way — some will cry, some will laugh at memories, some will sit quietly, and all of it is welcome.
The Historical Roots and Spiritual Meaning
To understand why Irish wakes feel the way they do, it helps to know where they come from. Irish wake traditions blend pre-Christian Celtic customs with Catholic ritual, creating a funeral practice that honours both the spiritual journey of the soul and the earthly bonds between people. Before Christianity arrived in Ireland, Celtic peoples had their own rituals for death — fires were lit, keening (ritual wailing) took place, and the community stayed awake through the night to protect the soul’s passage to the next world.
When Catholicism came to Ireland, these ancient customs didn’t disappear. Instead, they merged with Christian practices like the rosary and prayer. The Church gave the vigil spiritual structure and meaning, but the Irish people kept the warmth, the food, the storytelling, and the communal nature of sitting together through the night. This is why a traditional Irish wake feels both sacred and utterly human at the same time.
The word “wake” itself means to stay awake — to keep vigil. It’s not morbid; it’s a profound act of respect. By staying awake through the night with the deceased, the community was saying: “You mattered. You were not alone in life, and you are not alone in death. We are here.”
That spiritual foundation is still at the heart of Irish wakes today, even in the UK, even in modern times. It’s why so many families, regardless of whether they’re religious, find that honouring the Irish wake tradition brings them comfort and closure.
Core Irish Wake Traditions You Can Honour
The Vigil
The heart of an Irish wake is the vigil — the practice of staying awake through the night or evening with the deceased. In Ireland, this traditionally happens in the home, but in the UK, if the deceased is with a funeral director, you might hold an evening vigil at the funeral home, or you might gather the evening before or after the funeral service. Some families hold the vigil at their home if they’re able; others gather at a pub or community space for an informal vigil with food, drink, and company.
The vigil isn’t about being silent or standing at attention. It’s about being together. People come and go, sit and chat, share stories, have something to eat and drink. The physical presence of the deceased (whether in person or represented by a photo) anchors the gathering, but the real focus is on the living people in the room and their memories of the person who has died.
Keening and Storytelling
Keening is the traditional Irish practice of ritual wailing or keen singing — a way of expressing grief in an emotionally honest, sometimes musical way. In modern Irish wakes, this has softened into storytelling. People stand up and tell stories about the person — sometimes funny, sometimes touching, sometimes bittersweet. These stories might go on for hours, and there’s no formal structure. Someone will start, others will add their own memories, and the evening becomes a kind of collective remembrance.
In a UK setting, you can encourage this by simply creating the space for it. A pub is actually perfect for this, because the informal atmosphere gives people permission to stand up and speak without it feeling like a formal funeral service. If you’re planning a wake and you’d like to encourage storytelling, you might mention it to family and close friends beforehand — let them know that you’d like to hear their memories and stories.
Food and Drink
An Irish wake without food and drink is not really an Irish wake. Traditionally, there’s plenty of tea, whiskey, Guinness, and simple food — sandwiches, soda bread, barmbrack (an Irish fruit bread), cold meats, cheese. The food serves a practical purpose: it keeps people’s energy up through a long evening or night. But it also serves an emotional purpose. Food is an act of care. By feeding people, the family is saying: “We’re taking care of you. You are part of this community. We’re grateful you’re here.”
In the UK, you can absolutely honour this tradition. If you’re holding your wake at a pub — which is actually very much in the spirit of Irish wakes, since pubs are community gathering places — the venue can provide buffet food and drinks. Many families find that a pub wake feels more Irish than a traditional funeral home or hotel, because it’s warm, informal, and genuinely welcoming. When you’re at a pub, you’re in a place where the deceased might actually have spent time with friends, which adds authenticity and comfort.
Music and Singing
Irish wakes often include traditional music and songs — sometimes played by musicians, sometimes sung by guests. Songs might include traditional Irish ballads, favourite songs of the deceased, or contemporary music that meant something to them. Music doesn’t have to be formal or performed; it can be someone playing a tin whistle in the corner, or a group of people singing a well-known song together.
In the UK, you can create this atmosphere by asking if the venue has AV capabilities so you can play music from a playlist. Many pubs now have the equipment to do this, and it’s a beautiful way to include the person’s favourite songs as part of the gathering.
The Rosary and Prayer
If the family is Catholic, the rosary might be said at certain times during the wake, often in the evening. This provides spiritual structure and gives people who are grieving a ritual framework — something familiar to hold onto. Even in the UK, this is something you can do if it’s important to your family. It doesn’t require special permission or a particular venue; you can say the rosary wherever you’re gathered, whether that’s a pub function room, a funeral home, or someone’s home.
How to Adapt Irish Customs for a UK Wake
Adapting Irish wake traditions for a UK setting means keeping the spirit of the tradition while working within UK funeral practices and venue options. The good news is that the core elements of an Irish wake are about people, not about a specific building or rigid sequence of events. You can honour the tradition almost anywhere, as long as you’re intentional about it.
Start by deciding how long you want the gathering to last. In Ireland, a wake might go on for two or three days. In the UK, most families hold a wake or gathering the evening before the funeral, or sometimes in the afternoon on the day of the funeral itself. Some families also hold a gathering in the weeks after the funeral — a delayed celebration of life. All of these approaches can be genuinely Irish in spirit, as long as you’re creating space for people to gather, remember, and be together.
Next, think about the venue. Wake venues in Washington range from funeral homes to hotels to pubs, and each one shapes the feeling of the gathering. A pub is particularly good if you want an Irish feel, because pubs are inherently social, informal, and welcoming. They’re places where people naturally come together. A family home is also wonderful if you’re able to host there. What matters is that the space feels warm and human, not cold or formal.
If you’re in Washington NE38 or the surrounding area, many families find that The Teal Farm provides exactly the kind of atmosphere that works well for an Irish wake. It’s a pub with a private function room, step-free access, ample free parking, and it’s just minutes from Birtley and Sunderland crematoriums. The Teal Farm can also usually accommodate requests at 48 hours notice, which matters if you’re planning a wake quickly after a death.
Next, plan your food and drink. Keep it simple: good tea, coffee, and a selection of alcoholic drinks (Guinness and Irish whiskey are traditional, but whatever the person enjoyed is fine). For food, sandwiches, soda bread if you can source it or make it, cheese, cold meats, and simple cakes work well. The point is not to be fancy; it’s to be generous and welcoming. Many pubs offer buffet packages that can be tailored to your needs and budget.
Encourage people to share stories. You might do this by mentioning it in the invitation: “We’d love to hear your memories and stories about [person’s name] — please come prepared to share something.” Some families ask one or two people beforehand if they’d be willing to start the storytelling, to help get things going. Others just let it happen naturally, and it often does.
If music is important, ask the venue if they can play a playlist, or arrange for someone to bring a guitar or other instrument. This doesn’t need to be complicated; even one or two songs can add real warmth to the gathering.
Choosing the Right Venue for an Irish-Style Wake
The venue you choose shapes the whole feeling of the wake, so it’s worth thinking carefully about what will work for your family. Here are the main options available in the UK:
Pub or Bar
Pubs are actually one of the best venues for honouring Irish wake traditions in the UK. They’re informal, welcoming, and they’re places where people naturally gather. There’s no pretence; you’re not in a formal funeral home or a hotel ballroom. You’re in a real place where people drink, eat, and talk — which is exactly what happens at an Irish wake. Many pubs have private function rooms you can book, which gives you privacy while keeping the warmth and informality of a pub.
The Teal Farm in Washington NE38 is a good example of a pub that works well for wakes. It has a dedicated function room, it’s step-free throughout, there’s free parking, and it can accommodate buffet catering from £8 per head. The landlord, who has been in hospitality for 15 years, understands what grieving families need, and the venue can often arrange things at short notice. One family came to them with just two days’ notice after a sudden bereavement, and the team had their loved one’s favourite drink waiting at the head of the table before the first guests arrived.
Funeral Home
Many funeral directors offer viewing rooms and spaces where you can hold a wake or gathering. These are quiet, respectful spaces, and they’re often close to where the deceased is being cared for. However, they can feel formal and clinical, which might not be ideal if you’re trying to create the warm, human atmosphere of an Irish wake.
Community Hall or Village Hall
These venues can work well if you want informality without the pub setting. They’re neutral spaces where you can create whatever atmosphere you want — you’ll need to arrange your own catering and music, but you have full control.
Your Home
If you’re able and willing to host at home, this is actually the most authentically Irish option. There’s something deeply comforting about being in the place where the person lived, surrounded by their belongings and memories. However, it does require significant energy and organisation from the family, which might be difficult in the immediate days after a death.
When choosing a venue, consider: Is it warm and welcoming? Will it feel like a place where real life happens, or like a formal event space? Can it accommodate the number of people you expect? Can it provide or allow food and drink? Is it accessible (step-free, with adequate parking)? Can you arrange music and perhaps a slideshow of photos? If the answers to most of these questions are yes, you’re probably in the right place.
Common Questions About Irish Wakes in 2026
When you’re planning a wake and trying to honour Irish traditions, questions naturally come up. Here are the ones I hear most often, and some honest answers.
Is It Okay to Have a Wake Before the Funeral Service?
Yes, absolutely. In fact, that’s the traditional structure. The wake happens the night or evening before the funeral, giving people time to gather, remember, and prepare. In the UK, some families hold the wake the day before the funeral, others hold it the same day, earlier in the afternoon, before the funeral service in the evening. Some families also hold a gathering weeks or months after the funeral — a celebration of life that comes after the acute shock of death has eased. All of these approaches are valid.
How Many People Typically Attend?
This varies hugely. Some wakes are small and intimate — 20 or 30 people. Others are large community gatherings with 100 or more. What matters is not the size, but that the people who are there feel genuinely welcomed. A small wake with people who knew the person well often feels warmer than a large, formal gathering. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have a certain number of guests. Invite the people you genuinely want to be there, and let others know they’re welcome to come.
Do You Need to Have the Deceased Present at the Wake?
Traditionally, yes. The body or coffin is present at the wake. However, in the UK, depending on where the person is and what’s been arranged with the funeral director, this might not always be possible. Some funeral directors can arrange for the deceased to be brought to the venue for the evening. Others cannot. If the deceased cannot be physically present, you can still hold a meaningful wake. Many families display a large photo, light a candle, and use that as a focal point. The spirit of the wake — gathering together, remembering, and honouring a life — is still very much alive, even if the physical body isn’t there.
What If We Don’t Know How Many People Will Attend?
This is a very practical concern, especially if you’re trying to arrange food and drink. A good venue — particularly a pub — can usually be flexible. If you book a function room and you’re not entirely sure of numbers, discuss this with the landlord. Many pubs can arrange food on a “per head” basis, meaning you only pay for the people who actually show up. The Teal Farm, for example, works with families on flexible arrangements. You might give them a rough estimate — “We think between 40 and 60 people” — and they’ll be prepared to cater for that range. It’s one of the advantages of working with an independent pub venue rather than a large hotel, where they might insist on a fixed number and charge you whether or not people attend.
Is It Appropriate to Serve Alcohol at a Wake?
Yes, entirely. Alcohol — particularly Guinness and Irish whiskey in the Irish context — is a traditional and integral part of a wake. It’s not about getting drunk; it’s about having something to share, something to ease the evening, and something that often comes with good memories. In an Irish wake, alcohol is usually accompanied by food and by people staying together for hours. The whole point is that people are there to remember and be together, not to drink and leave. A pub venue naturally provides the right setting for this — it’s a place where alcohol is served in a social context, and where people typically stay for a while.
Should You Say Anything Formal During the Wake?
Not necessarily. Some families do want someone to welcome people and say a few words, particularly at the beginning of the gathering. Others prefer to let things happen naturally. If you do want to say something, it doesn’t need to be formal or long. Something simple like, “Thank you all for coming. We’re so grateful to have you here to remember [person’s name] with us” is plenty. The focus should stay on the people in the room and their memories, not on speeches or structure.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a wake and a funeral?
A wake is a gathering, usually held the evening before or the day of the funeral, where family and friends come together to remember the person, share stories, eat, and drink. It’s informal and can last several hours or an entire night. A funeral is the formal service — usually held in a church, crematorium, or other venue — where there are readings, prayers, or speeches, and where the coffin is either buried or cremated. You can have a wake without a funeral service (some families skip the formal service), but most families hold both.
Can you adapt Irish wake traditions if your family isn’t Irish?
Absolutely. Many families without Irish heritage love the spirit of an Irish wake and adapt the traditions to fit their own culture and preferences. The core elements — gathering together, sharing food and stories, staying late into the evening, and honouring the person’s life — are universal. You can take what appeals to you from Irish traditions and blend it with your own family’s customs. What matters is that the gathering feels authentic and meaningful to your family.
How much does it typically cost to host a wake in the UK in 2026?
Costs vary depending on where you hold the wake and how many people attend. A pub function room with basic catering (sandwiches, cold meats, drinks) might cost £200–600 for an evening, plus food at roughly £8–15 per head. A funeral home venue might charge a room rental fee of £100–300. If you host at home, your main cost is food and drink. Many families find that the average cost of a wake in the UK falls somewhere between £400 and £1,200, depending on the number of guests and the venue.
Is it disrespectful to have laughter and music at a wake?
Not at all. In Irish tradition, and in many other cultures, laughter and music are seen as a way of celebrating the person’s life and the joy they brought to the world. Yes, there will be tears and sadness at a wake, but there will also be laughter as people share funny stories and memories. This mix of grief and celebration is actually what makes a wake healing. It acknowledges that life is both tragic and beautiful, and that a person’s life deserves to be honoured in a full, human way.
What should you wear to a wake?
In the UK, people typically wear dark, smart-casual clothes to a wake — similar to what you’d wear to a funeral. Men often wear a suit or dress trousers and a shirt; women often wear a dress, suit, or trousers and a top. The focus isn’t on being perfectly formal, but on showing respect. If you’re holding your wake at a pub, people will be more casually dressed than they would be at a formal funeral service, and that’s fine. What matters is that you’re there, not what you’re wearing.
Planning a celebration of life in Washington that honours Irish traditions is about creating a space where people feel genuinely welcome to remember and grieve together. It’s about warmth, informality, good food and drink, and the understanding that grief and celebration can exist in the same room at the same time.
If you’re considering a wake for a loved one and you want to explore how you might honour Irish traditions in a UK setting, the first 24 hours after a death can feel overwhelming. Having a clear picture of what a wake could look like — and knowing that there are venues and people ready to help — can bring real peace of mind.
Planning a Wake That Feels Right for Your Family
If you’re thinking about honouring Irish wake traditions and you’d like to explore warm, informal venues in Washington, The Teal Farm offers exactly the kind of atmosphere that works well for this. Step-free access, free parking, dog friendly, full AV support for photos and music, and buffet packages from £8 per head. We’re just minutes from Birtley and Sunderland crematoriums, and we can often accommodate at 48 hours notice — which matters if you’re planning quickly after a death.
Get in touch personally with the team. Email TealFarm.Washington@phoenixpub.co.uk or call 0191 5800637. We respond personally, usually within a few hours.
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